Fundraising Success--Belief is Key

Launching of the James Caird

I'm fond of Napolean Hill's expression: "Whatsoever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve."  It comes back to me time and time again, especially when it seems as if progress is difficult.

I'll admit that up until recently embracing this axiom was difficult.  Then I recently read an excellent book by Claude Bristol entitled The Magic of Believing.  It helped me recall several episodes during my life where I held an intention to be, do, have, or accomplish something without being attached to any particular way it manifested.

I know this seems counter-intuitive.  We're often VERY attached to goals and the methods we employ to achieve them.  Especially in fundraising.  It's not a bad thing.  Processes are useful.  Metrics are helpful.  Progress is good.  And yet, I am acutely aware that we are very often surprised by the circumstances that lead us toward meeting our goals.

An example may be helpful here.  When at Princeton, each year the team I led would put forth a forecast of the amount of money the University would receive from various sources that our team was responsible.  From that forecast, each individual would develop a plan with objectives, goals, strategies, and metrics that were within his/her zones of control and influence.  And, here's the kicker: there's a zone beyond our control and influence where "we don't know what we don't know."   It is often from there that the most surprising results emerge.

Thankfully, we met or exceeded our forecast each year--frequently with delightful surprises that were unplanned.  This achievement was accomplished in no small part because we believed we could do it, and we were not too attached to exactly how it would happen.

I'll share another example from my personal life.  In the 1990's I read the story of Ernest Shackleton sailing a small open boat 800 miles with five companions for 16 days across the treacherous South Atlantic to reach civilization to save his men.  That voyage (along with the subsequent traverse of South Georgia Island) is among the most memorable tales of belief and perseverance in the face of extraordinary difficulty from the early 20th century.  It inspired in me the burning desire to own and operate a small open rowing/sailing craft (and learn to sail along the way).

That desire became planted in my subconscious during a time when I lived by the northern New Jersey shoreline.  I subsequently moved to Wyoming, and then California.  While the access to the sea was limited during the ten year period out west, the desire to row and sail a small open craft never ceased. Ten years after learning about the voyage of the James Caird, I was back on the east coast living near the Long Island Sound, a body of water well suited to a small open rowing/sailing craft.  Within a year of my return to the east coast, I came into possession of the boat I had envisioned more than ten years earlier--a used, hand-crafted beauty.

I share this personal story to illustrate that the truth of Napolean Hill's axiom is not bounded by time or any particular circumstance.  In the fundraising profession, we're fond of creating ambitious campaigns with timelines, donor pyramids, and lots of anxiety over results.  By all means, establish plans, goals, and timelines.  Then I encourage you to let go and allow yourself to be pleasantly (dare I say, delightfully) surprised.

Fundraising Enables Freedom

As we celebrated the Independence of the United States of America this past 4th of July, I was reminded just how important fundraising was (and is) in the formation and nourishment of our private, non-profit organizations.  Especially in the realm of post-secondary education.

While 90% of children in America attend publicly funded schools from grades K-12, 30% of young adults attend privately funded Colleges and Universities.  And we know that publicly funded institutions of higher education rely more and more on private fundraising to support their missions. There is currently much weeping and gnashing of teeth in the media about the increase of tuition costs both in private and publicly funded higher education.  Many folks harken back to the post-WW II period (roughly1950 through 1990) during which university enrollments expanded rapidly, and public higher education in America was funded almost entirely through tax revenues.  Sadly, those days are over.

The good news is that Americans are, in general, an extraordinarily generous people.  Especially when it comes to education.  Year-in and year-out surveys of giving demonstrate that educational organizations rank second to religious groups in donor priority.  For private universities, the tradition of giving goes as far back as the late 1700's.  In one notable example, George Washington gave Liberty Hall Academy (now Washington and Lee University) 150 shares of James River and Potomac Canal Company stock (then valued at $20,000) to "promote literature...and to encourage the arts."  Many public universities are now in the midst of massive, multi-billion dollar private fundraising campaigns.  Thankfully, through the hard work of professional fundraisers and volunteers, those institutions can rely on a generation of donors who are rising to the call despite the angst over the costs associated with higher ed

I bring this topic to the fore at this time because it remains essential that the current and future generations of American citizens receive an education that enables them to make an informed decision when they exercise their responsibility to vote in our representative form of democratic government.  This function, above all else, is the primary role of education in our society. 

I am honored to be part of the fundraising profession that enables that freedom.

Stay on Track for Success

How?  By keeping a journal.  You know, one that looks like a notebook where you scribble things down in ink.  By way of example, think of those "Composition" books from your youth.


Yes, that's old school--and there's no school like the old school for success.

If you're a non-conformist (like me), then the old school is even cool!

A journal is a place where, you can reflect, plan, capture ideas, and record content. The practice of leaders keeping a daily journal goes back to antiquity (think of Julius Caesar and Marcus Aurelius). A journal is a tool that will help you achieve what is most important to you, and it will keep you on track as a leader in your career and every aspect of your life. 

Use a journal to record, create, plan, and organize your thoughts. Some essential best practices for keeping a journal that I've developed over the years are as follows:

Essential Journal Practice #1—Daily Morning Pages

In The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron describes Morning Pages as: “one to three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing, done first thing in the morning. *There is no wrong way to do Morning Pages*– they’re not high art, nor even ‘writing.’ They are about anything and everything that crosses your mind– and they are for your eyes only. Morning Pages provoke, clarify, comfort, cajole, prioritize and synchronize the day at hand. Do not over-think Morning Pages: just put [up to] three pages of anything on the page…and then do three more pages tomorrow.” 

Essential Journal Practice #2—The Week Ahead and the and Day Ahead

After the morning pages, review your calendar for the week (on Sunday) and day (every day). Plan and organize your activities by writing down your priorities in each of the following categories: Intention for the week/day, Business/Work, Family and Friends, Significant Other/Romance, Fun and Recreation, Health/Wellness/Fitness, Money Personal Growth Physical Environment 

Essential Journal Practice #3—Meeting Notes

For each important meeting or telephone conversation—TAKE NOTES! Record essential tasks, commitments, and action items. Begin at the top of a page for each new conversation. Label the date, time (am/pm), and whether the conversation was by in-person, by video, or telephone. Write the name(s) of the person(s) involved and the organization(s) represented.

 

CLICK HERE for an excellent writing journal that is designed to keep you on track as a leader in every aspect of your life. 

Essential Journal Practice #4—Reflection

At the end of each day, take the time to reflect. What did you accomplish (review the Day Ahead)? What needs to be rescheduled, delegated, or dumped? For what are you grateful? Where could you have done better? On Saturday, review and reflect on your plan for the week. If you are focused on diet and exercise: what did you eat today, and how did your exercise go (activity, duration, intensity). 

Essential Journal Practice #5—Ad Hoc Ideas

Be sure to record any creative ideas that come to you during the day. Label each entry as “idea”, “inspiration”, “task”, etc. Transfer to electronic organization system, as necessary. 

Essential Journal Practice #6—Review and Celebrate

As you approach the end of the journal space in about 90-120 days, read and review all your pages. Marvel at what you’ve accomplished and celebrate. 

I strongly encourage you to keep a daily journal over the next 90 to 120 days.  Feel free to use and apply these best practices to record, create, plan, and organize your thoughts.  If you do, you'll gain clarity about what's most important to you.  

Like developing any good habit, keeping a journal takes a little discipline at first.  If you choose to do so, I guarantee that your focus will sharpen, and you will more easily stay on track to accomplish your goals.  I expect you'll also find that daily journaling catalyzes your thinking about critical issues.  You'll often discover inspiration in the pages, and you'll create new ideas that excite you.  The practice will also spark strategic discussions with your team.

I sincerely hope you will take up this challenge for the next three to four months.  If you do, feel free be in touch (my coordinates are on my profile) and let me know what impact establishing this practice has had.  

How You May Be Sabotaging Yourself

You're restless, and so am I.

In 2013, Penelope Burk surveyed more than 1,100 fundraisers and found the average time someone stayed in a fundraising position was 16 months.  16 months!  And we know that it typically takes at least 10-12 months to integrate and acclimate an individual to become productive in an organization.  Wow!

I do not intend to address the organizational impact of this turnover (costs, relationships, etc.) because that topic is covered extensively by others elsewhere.   A.L Haggerty from the Virginia Commonwealth University presents an excellent overview in her dissertation.

What I do intend to share with you is how by being restless you can sabotage yourself.  And, yes, I'm intimately familiar with this saboteur because I was restless for much of my adult life.

In his excellent book, Positive Intelligence,  Chizard Chamine defines "Saboteurs" as: "internal enemies..,..a set of automatic and habitual mind patterns, each with its own voice, beliefs, and assumptions that work against your best interest."  In particular, Chizard describes the "Restless Saboteur" as a mind pattern that is frequently in search of greater excitement in the next activity.  It is rarely at peace or content with the present moment or situation.

One of the characteristics of the Restless is that s/he stays busy, juggling many different tasks and plans.  Sound familiar?  Many of the fundraising leaders I've observed over the years see this behavior as a strength--until it isn't.  Impatience coupled with a fear of missing out on other more worthwhile experiences (or, positions) manifests in relentless frenzy and chaos.  The impact is often one of burn-out, combined with the inability to build anything sustainable or lasting.  Trust me--I know.  Here are some of the voices in the head you may want to aware of:

-I'm bored.
-Can't anyone around here keep up with me?
-Ooh, that position at _______ looks exciting.
-I wonder what it would be like to live in ______?
-Wouldn't it be cool to try________.
-These guys just don't get it.  I need to move on.
-I'm not learning anything here.
-Same old, same old.
-Really?  Do I need to go through that again?
-Life is too short for this BS.

Sure, at any given time, these may very well be valid concerns.  However, be careful, and be aware of your mind.  If some of the above thoughts (or others with which you are more familiar) are recurring patterns, and they collude with your high achieving and success-driven nature, then it may be time to take a pause.  Just at the moment when you starting to feel a bit restless, it can be helpful to ask yourself: "Am I being restless here?"

If your Restless Saboteur is strong, another way to neutralize it is to ask yourself Byron Katie's Four Questions:

1. Is this thought true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?

I've found these questions extraordinarily helpful in quieting my own Restless Saboteur.  Even if you choose not to ask the Four Questions, I believe that if you pause and begin to ask if you're being restless (especially around a change in employer), you'll be in a better position to make an informed choice.

Major Gifts Essentials IV: Donor Dreams, Perspectives, and Emotions

In this post (the last in the series of four), I intend to explore the topic of donor dreams, perspectives and emotions.  You might be thinking: "That's a bit odd, I thought that Major Gifts was all about asking for the major gift."

Gotcha!  Bit again by the transaction bug.  Like a mosquito bite that spreads malaria or the zika virus, the transaction bite can degrade the health of the donor relationship over time.


Donor Dreams

One of the distinct privileges of being professional fundraisers is that we get to explore big ideas and dreams with our donors about having an impact in the world.  Some examples:

Mitigating hunger and starvation.
Providing education to orphans.
Securing housing for homeless families.
Relieving the suffering of cancer patients.

I could go on and on.  These are just a few issues where generous donors dream about putting their capital to use for good, and fundraisers help them make that a reality.  As fundraisers, we are in the enviable position of helping donors stay connected to their values and creating an environment where their visions can be fulfilled.  We can light the fire in their bellies, and fan the flames of their philanthropic desires.


Donor Perspectives

That said, sometimes donors can get stuck in particular perspective or way of seeing the world that derails their dreams, or dissipates their vision.  Related to the causes above, some limited perspective might be:

"Governments politicians are corrupt and will steal food before it gets to the needy."
"Western-style education will be of no use to African orphans."
"Homeless shelters don't work."
"Insurance covers cancer treatments."

As fundraisers, we can take the initiative in working with donors when they get stuck.  We can invite them to explore a variety of alternative perspectives in order to move them into action.  We can actually say to a donor: "I know that you care about providing education for orphans, and right now the way you're seeing it is that western methods don't work.  Are you willing to explore some other perspectives?"  I've rarely had a donor say "no" to that invitation.  Especially if it's an issue that s/he really cares about.  Once the door is open to alternative ways of seeing a situation, we can brainstorm with the donor and co-create possible pathways forward.


Of course, this requires that we remain present, open, and flexible as we dance in the moment with donors.  Which brings us to dealing with donor emotions.

Donor Emotions

Nearly any classical economist worth his salt will tell you that making a philanthropic gift is a completely irrational act (from an economic point of view).  Thankfully human beings are not automatons,  and we have the emerging field of behavioral economics which helps explain from a social scientific standpoint why philanthropy is good for a well-functioning society.  And what we're learning is that individual decisions are influenced by both rational (left brain) and emotional (right brain) factors.  In fact, it would appear that, more often than not, decisions are first made on emotional grounds, and then justified by rational explanations.

This growing body of evidence is good news for fundraisers and the donors with whom we work.  Thankfully, development professionals have known for a long time that donors make gifts from their hearts, not from their heads.

Yes, tax incentives matter.  Yes, naming rights are appealing.  And, no, these are not generally the primary driving forces for philanthropic giving. As fundraisers, it is incumbent upon us to tap into donors' emotions and allow them to fully experience sadness over a loved one's loss to cancer, or anger at corrupt government officials that steal food from their starving citizens.  It is from that pool of emotion that we can help donors can emerge to change the world.


 

Major Gifts Essentials III: Dancing with Donors

No--not dirty dancing.  No--not flash dancing.

And, no--not "dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight" (Batman, 1989).

What I am referring to here is the dance between fundraising professional and donor.  That's right, the BIG DANCE.  The one where you are present, open, and flexible.  The one with JOY.  The one with BEAUTY.  The one where MAGIC happens.

I could milk this dancing metaphor all day:

• Preparation,  practice, planning.
• Choreography, timing, tempo.
• Commitment, conditioning, discipline.

These elements are all part of putting together a successful artistic dance production.  They also happen to reflect many of the elements of a successful major gifts process.  This is one of the reasons why major gifts work is more of an "art" than a "science" (and this from a scientist turned artist).

Register Now for the Abundant Fundraising Webinar Series to learn the art of Dancing with Donors.

When I say dance, what do I mean?  I mean the act of showing up and having powerful conversations with donors.  I mean recognizing the fact that donors have multiple competing priorities (work, family, friends, health, recreation, romance, etc.), including multiple philanthropic priorities (sorry, you're not the only dance partner).  I mean being agile, graceful, and nimble in your discussions with donors.

I applaud the efforts of major gifts training programs that are bringing rigor to the profession (see Advancement Resources and Plus Delta Partners), just as I applaud the intense summer training programs in ballet offered by the Bolshoi and Joffrey Ballet companies for aspiring ballerinas.  However, rigorous training will only take you so far.  Sooner or later, prima ballerina's must dance a pas de deux live onstage, and major gifts fundraisers must "dance" live (or meet face-to-face) with donors.

A common miss-step that I see less experienced major gift officers make is to lead the donor early on in this dance by advancing some "priority" of their organization.  Yes, you have a job to do.  Yes, your non-profit has fundraising priorities.  And NO, thou shalt NOT lead thy donor dance with that institutional priority!

Get to know the person in front of you.  Who is s/he? What are his or her interests and passions?  How may you align those interests and passions with your organization? If there is alignment and you are both stepping to the music, how might you encourage your donor to STRETCH beyond his or her comfort zone?

You can prepare all you want for dancing with donors (and I strongly encourage preparation).  That said, one of the most compelling and satisfying aspects of major gifts work (for those of us who love it), is that is co-creative by its very nature.  In other words, you cannot analyze your way to an impactful gift, because it takes two to dance!

We'll be exploring this co-active "art" of  dancing with donors starting starting next month.  Join us.

Major Gifts Fundraising Essentials II: Curiosity and Self Managment

Exceptional fundraisers with whom I work as a professional coach are a curious bunch. They're curious about themselves, curious about their world, and especially curious about donors and their interests. Embedded in that curiosity is a principle of withholding judgment--a core element of self management.




Ah, withholding judgement.  Easier said than done.   Oh, how the mind loves to judge others, ourselves, and even our circumstances.  For the purposes of this post, I'd like to focus on our tendency (dare I say "compulsion") to judge others.  Here are some common examples:


Good/Bad
Smart/Stupid 
Assertive/Meek
Funny/Serious  
Conservative/Liberal
Engaging/Boring
Beautiful/Ugly  
Wealthy/Poor
Capable/Incompetent
Diligent/Careless
Old/Young 

I will assert that for fundraising professionals it is absolutely imperative that the tendency to judge others be weakened. Why?  Because this one practice opens up space for relationships to blossom.  And when relationships with donors blossom, generous gifts follow.  In Wayne Dyer's words: "Real magic in relationships happens in absence of judgement."  It's that kind of "magic" that fundraisers are seeking to create with donors.

I confess that it can be very challenging to refrain from this insidious behavior, especially if your "Judge" is well developed.  One way to weaken the Judge is to watch your mind throughout the day and keep track of when you judge someone.  Be truthful, and hold yourself accountable.  You may even want to keep score (fundraisers love to keep score).  Each time you judge someone, recommit to creating a "no-judgment zone" for yourself and those with whom you interact.  And remember not to judge yourself harshly.  Over time as you start noticing when you're in judgment mode, I expect you'll also see how quickly the judgment will dissipate.

Another great antidote to the Judge is curiosity.  Curiosity and judgment can almost never co-exist.  Let's say, for example, you are meeting with a prospective donor who made his fortune in the defense industry.  Because you are generally a peaceful person and despise the military industrial complex, your Judge starts to create a story: "This guy's a baby killer.  He's an asshole.  How could he build weapons that destroy innocent lives?" And, so on.

All of a sudden you start to notice the story your Judge is creating, and instead of solidifying that story you choose to get curious: "Who is this person?  What motivates him?  What does he really care about?"  Your curiosity leads you to ask him some powerful questions and you learn that his company produces affordable handheld gas sensing devices which allow soldiers and first responders to detect very small amounts of poisonous gases before people are affected.  It turns out he's saving lives (or, at least preventing deaths) through his work.  By withholding judgement and being curious you come to learn that his grandfather died a grisly death in WWI from mustard gas poisoning.  To honor his grandfather, he wants to support public policy research at your university that would lead to significant reductions of poisonous gas stockpiles worldwide.  Hmmm.....

While this example may seem simple, you get  get the picture.  

If you are relatively new to the fundraising field (or just want to go from good to great), and you are interested in strengthening the your ability to be curious and withhold judgment, then I encourage you to join me for the affordable Abundant Fundraising Webinar Series.  The second installment of the series focuses on these two essential qualities of curiosity and self-managment, both of which major gifts fundraisers must cultivate to be successful.

Major Gifts Essentials I--Listening and Intuition

Several good books have been written on what it takes to cultivate and solicit major gifts with generous donors.  I recommend you go to Amazon for a comprehensive list.  Also, you can attend any number of conferences offered by CASE or AFP to become more familiar with the best practices of executing a major gifts fundraising program.

This post is less about the "doing" of major gifts, and more about the essential "being" of major gifts fundraising professionals.  I'm talking about qualities that you can cultivate and strengthen through deliberate practice.

The first two of these are listening and intuition.  Good fundraisers develop and hone listening skills over time. Great fundraisers listen at multiple levels and can tap into their intuition.


Listening.  Transactional fundraisers typically only listen at Level I, or what I will call "the voice in their head."  This is not a bad thing, and it comes in especially handy for telethon annual giving type work.  The Level I voice in the head something like this: "I need to make this call and ask this donor to renew his annual $250 commitment."  Done.  Move onto the next call.

While Level I listening has its place, it will only take fundraising so far.  This is why more mature fundraising professionals that engage in major gifts work learn to cultivate listening at Level II.  Level II listing is when 80% to 90% of your attention is on the donor and what s/he is saying.  It typically consists of a hard focus on the words coming out of the donor's mouth.  During the 10% or 20% of the time you are speaking you might say something like this: "Donor what I hear you saying is...," or "Donor, what I notice is...."  We call this "articulating" or reflecting back what the donor is saying for clarification and understanding.

Fundraisers who strengthen the ability to listen at Level II often (although not always) become very good major gifts fundraisers.  Those that master Level III listening are nearly without exception the top fundraisers in our field.  Level III listening involves panoramic awareness.  It requires that you take in the entire environment. What is the donor's body language?  How does the donor's facial expression change as s/he discusses his or her life and the impact s/he wants to have through philanthropy.  How does the donor react to your open ended questions?  How does the donor dress?  What kinds of items in the home or office does the donor cherish?  What emotion is coming through as the donor speaks with you (sadness, anger, joy, etc.)?  Level III listening requires that you remain present, open, flexible, and non-judgmental as you engage with the donor.  AND, it requires that you tap into your intuition.

Intuition.  Intuition is the innate human ability to understand something (or somebody) immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning or data. Thomas Edison honed this ability.  He claimed that his invention of the phonograph was an act of pure intuition.   Great fundraisers regularly tap into their intuition and express their "intuitive hits" with donors.  The expression may take this form: "My sense is that you're interested in....," or "I have a feeling that you'd really love..."

While we all have this ability, we often fail to use it.  For me, intuition sometimes manifests as a visual image in my mind, a metaphor, a feeling, or just a word that pops into my head.  In my coaching work, I've noticed that successful fundraising leaders often listen to these intuitive "feelings," while struggling leaders do not.  Steve Jobs famously followed his own iconoclastic decision-making impulses.  He implored his colleagues at Apple to "have the courage to follow [their] intuition."

If you are relatively new to the fundraising path (or just want to go from good to great), and are interested in strengthening the your ability to listen and use your intuition, then I encourage you to join me for the affordable Abundant Fundraising Webinar Series.  The first installment of the series focuses on these two essential qualities of listening and intuition, both of which major gifts fundraisers must cultivate to be successful.

Fundraising Leadership--What does it take?

John Wayne--True Grit (1969)

I recently completed Ron Schiller's excellent book, The Chief Development Officer: Beyond Fundraising. It's well worth reading, and I can recommend Ron's work to you without reservation, especially if you are considering the Chief Development Officer Role (CDO) now, or in the future. 

While Ron focuses primarily on the CDO, my own work as a leadership coach tends to focus on mid-career fundraising leaders at the Director level (including Senior and Executive), as well as the AVP level (Assistant and Associate Vice President).  You are our future CDOs!

I love working with individuals in these roles because they are still very much interested in learning and growth.  And they are NOT learning about fundraising.  With at least ten years of frontline fundraising under their belts, these extraordinary folks are focused on strengthening their management skills, while also growing their leadership edge.  It's important to remember that while management is about what you do in an organization, leadership is about who you are.

What I notice about the most successful among these mid-career leaders is that they are gritty.  It's a quality that I admire greatly, and which can be loosely defined as possessing unyielding courage and resolve in the face of adversity.  Some close synonyms include: 

• Pluck
• Fortitude
• Hardiness
• Tenacity
• Perseverance

Can you imagine a successful fundraising leader in today's large and complex non-profit organizations without a strong dose of it?

Today's post is brief.  The main purpose is to start a conversation and encourage comments in response to a simple question:

What qualities (other than grit) do you see in the mid-career fundraising leaders you admire most?

Dysfunctional Fundraising Teams

Over the past few weeks I had a few conversations with leaders I know about dysfunction on teams.  Sadly, this dysfunction is a common occurrence that, in my experience, often arises from a fundamental fear of conflict.

It's a theme that arises frequently in my coaching work with leaders.  Especially fundraising leaders.  The fear of conflict is often initiated and promulgated by an insidious saboteur known as the "Pleaser."


I previously described the Pleaser Saboteur in a post entitled "The One Skill Every Fundraiser Must Cultivate."  It's an automatic and habitual mind pattern that frequently afflicts fundraising leaders by indirectly attempting to gain acceptance by helping, pleasing, or flattering others.  The impact of the Pleaser on fundraising teams is an avoidance of conflict which creates an environment of artificial harmony.  Pat Lencioni in is excellent book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team rightly points out that true harmony on teams can be beneficial, leading to cooperation, collaboration, and synergy.  On the other hand, fear of conflict that induces artificial harmony often leads to discord, contention, and ultimate team dysfunction.

I recognize that many folks are deeply uncomfortable about discussing a difference of opinion, or disagreement for fear that they might offend the other person, injure the relationship, or otherwise create an unpleasant circumstance.  In order to have a productive, well-functioning team this fear must be faced and overcome.  Lencioni's research clearly demonstrates that teams which engage in healthy, productive conflict (that is, conflict focused on ideas rather than personalities) enjoy superior performance over those that do not engage in healthy conflict.  

One way for a leader to create an environment where team members feel free to bring crucial, yet potentially sensitive, topics to meetings for discussion is to actually "mine for conflict".  That's right.  It is incumbent for the leader of the team to use his or her intuition to draw out disagreement, and to grant full permission to other teammates to air their differences without fear of reprisal.  Of course, it is essential that everyone on the team to commit to saying what is true for them, and to be persons to whom others can express themselves with candor.  It also helps when individuals make a commit to no gossip, that is, to speak their minds in team meetings and not behind closed doors after the meeting is over.  Teams where individuals make commitments to each other of speaking with candor and ending gossip possess higher levels of trust, and have less fear that potential conflict will destroy relationships.

As fundraising leaders begin to tame their Pleaser Saboteur in order to create and sustain a culture where healthy debate is encouraged, there is another helpful tool that can be used to navigate conflict.  This tool is used as part of the Co-Active Leadership Model which was introduced by the Coaches Training Institute.  In the Co-Active Leadership Model, conflict is transformed from a process that often has a starting point where individuals quickly seek agreement in order to gain acceptance.  This is often achieved through tactics like convincing, manipulation, authority, and so on.  In the Co-Active model of conflict management we typically start by seeking alignment, which leads to understanding, and finally agreement.  The former mode of conflict frequently results in contention and compliance.  The latter process, if allowed to unfold in an environment where individuals seek (as Stephen Covey put it) "first to understand," often leads to rich dialogue where members of the team align on something more important than the issue in conflict.  They then go ahead and have the disagreement and create solutions that everyone can accept.

In high functioning teams, conflict is transformed from a process that is feared to one that is embraced.  Especially when it is approached using some of the principles outlined in this post.  I suggest you to start with baby steps by creating an atmosphere where candor is encouraged, and gossip is eliminated.  Once those commitments are established, go ahead and try the Co-Active model for conflict management, and watch your team thrive.

Crappy [or Happy] New Year? You Decide.

Got your attention?  Good.   Because, whether we have a "Crappy" or "Happy" 2016 is completely in our control.  That's right.  Even if we face significant adversity.  Importantly, it's how we respond to the challenges of the coming year (and there will be challenges) that makes the difference.

I was exploring this very topic (albeit from a somewhat different angle) during a gathering of a special group of leaders over the past weekend.  Part of our discussion addressed the question: "what do we want to strip off (or leave behind), and what to we want to step into" at the start of the new year.  It was a heartfelt, vulnerable conversation that left us invigorated for the possibilities of 2016.  

The content that I found most useful was the exploration of subtraction.  This is counter-intuitive, since our tendency at the start of a new year is to consider all we want to achieve in the coming 12 months.  We work on our action plans, goals, objectives, strategies, tactics, etc.  I'm not making that process wrong.  I actually believe it is quite helpful, especially if it is coupled with the question: "What do I intend to subtract this year?" That's right--SUBTRACT.  More often that not, in order for us to advance confidently in the direction of our dreams we need to unburden ourselves and let go of relationships, stories, practices, habits, and even material goods that no longer serve us on our path forward.

Many of you who follow my posts know that I am an avid non-fiction reader, hungrily devouring books from antiquity to the present.  In the search for truth and wisdom I enjoy learning from multiple masters--no matter what their angle (spiritual, psychological, physical, mystical, meta physical, new age, etc.).  The counter-intuitive (and difficult) subtraction for me this year was to delete a significant number of books from my Audible and Amazon wish lists. Through this act of subtraction, I am honoring an intention to focus my studies in 2016 on those works of literature with a spiritual angle.  That was a difficult and conscious choice (considering my addiction), which I hope will open up some new perspectives in the coming year.

I offer this short, personal story of subtraction as a pointer toward greater happiness.  I am convinced (as are many wisdom teachers) that happiness is not derived from adding more material or intellectual stuff to our lives.  

So as you ponder 2016, I ask: what crap will you flush down the toilet so that you may open up space in 2016 and be free to fly into a very happy new year?