Sufficiency

Lynne Twist in her book The Soul of Money quotes Hazrat Inayat Khan as follows:

"I asked for strength,

and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for wisdom,

and God gave me problems to learn to solve. 

I asked for prosperity,

and God gave me a brain and brawn to work.

I asked for courage,

and God gave me dangers to overcome.

I asked for love,

and God gave me people to help.

I asked for favors,

and God gave me opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted.

I received everything I needed.”

I’m not sure if the attribution is correct, however, I am sure that there is extraordinary wisdom in this aphorism.  It gets to the heart of the concept of sufficiency, which Lynne Twist so adeptly describes in her book as “the universe meeting us perfectly with what we need when we need it.”  

Sufficiency is very difficult for our “more is better” society.  In fact, I expect that many reading this will never describe their circumstances as “sufficient.”  I also recognize that in the context of sales, I am expressing a heterodoxy that may very well  elicit some pejorative retorts.

In answer to those doubts,  I suggest that the aphorism gives us some perspective and insight. Just when we think we’re lacking something, nature tends to “tee-up” exactly what we need (although we may not recognize it).  Or, in the words of the Rolling Stones:

“You can't always get what you want

But if you try, sometimes - well - you might find 

You get what you need”

Allowing

Kids fighting?  Just let them be.  Better yet, nap your way through it. 

 

My school mate, Chris Saxman, recently shared in a humorous blogpost on the subject of allowing: "I just have to let 'em fight...Yup.   

Allowing is the process by which we let things (or people) be. 

 Similar to Chris, I have a story about allowing that concerns one of my children.  A few years back, our family was vacationing in Florida.  One morning, our two daughters were swimming in the pool, while we visited with my wife’s sister (Nancy) seated in chairs poolside.  At some point, our younger daughter (who was just learning to swim) decided to jettison her life jacket and play on the steps in the shallow end near us.  All well and good.   Even though she was just learning to swim, Claudia was still under our watchful eye.   As parents, Lillian and I are inclined to give our children some leeway.

Now, Claudia is quite an adventurous little imp, and she is often willing to try stuff, which is a credit to her Montessori pre-schooling.  During the vacation, she had been observing several of the other children jumping off the edge of the pool into about three/four feet of water, scrambling up, and doing it again.  So, she decided to try it herself—without her life jacket!  Thankfully, I was observing the whole plot unfold as my wife and sister-in-law chatted away. 

Dunk one, dunk two, dunk three.  Third time under Papa reached over the edge and pulled her up by her armpit.  Claudia was gasping for air and a bit disoriented.  Lillian and Nancy’s dialogue was nervously interrupted by my swift action.   

Some may say: “How could you?  Your daughter could have drowned”.  Not.  In fact, she learned a valuable lesson.  That is, when jumping off into the deep end, wear your life jacket!  She never made that mistake again.  Several years later, Claudia is a strong swimmer, happily jumping into pools (without a life jacket) as often as the opportunity presents itself.

And so it is with management and leadership.  Allow those in your charge to try things, experiment, and  fail.  It’s one of the best ways for them to learn—if not the best way.  Just so long as you maintain a watchful eye, and you’re there for them when they go under for the third time.

Shake It Off and Step Up

The parable of the farmer and the old mule.

"Once upon a time there was a farmer who had an old mule. The mule fell into a deep dry well and began to cry loudly. Hearing his mule cry, the farmer came over and assessed the situation. The well was deep and the mule was heavy. He knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, to lift the animal out.

Because the mule was old and the well was dry, the farmer decided to bury the animal in the well. In this way he could solve two problems: put the old mule out of his misery and have his well filled.

He called upon his neighbors to help him and they agreed to help. To work they went. Shovel full of dirt after shovel full of dirt began to fall on the mule’s back. He became hysterical. Then all of a sudden an idea came to the mule. Each time they would throw a shovel full of dirt on his back he could shake it off and step up. Shovel full after shovel full, the mule would shake it off and step up. Now exhausted and dirty, but quite alive, the mule stepped over the top of the well and walked through the crowd."

And so it is with rejection and failure.  In sales, fundraising, and business development, we get alot of no's.  In science, there are often many failed experiments before a solution is found.  In fact, a "failed experiment" is often viewed as a success.  As Thomas Edison is quoted as having said regarding the so-called failed experiments that lead to the discovery of a workable incandescent lamp (paraphrase): "I now know of 1,000 ways not to build one". 

People with whom I've interacted over the years will often ask me: "how do you deal with all the rejection"? There are three answers that can be helpful.  First, never take a no personally (most of the time, folks are rejecting the offering).  Second, keep in mind that no's can be stepping stones to a yes (learn from rejection and failure).  Finally, remember the parable of the mule in the well: shake it off and step up!