Stake for the Holidays

Last night, my wife, children, and I cooked up the following leadership stake (not steak) for the holidays: "Celebrating with peace, happiness, joy, and gratitude."  We intend to spend Christmas and New Years with friends and family tethered to that stake.

You may ask: "what in tarnation is he talking about?"  Good question.

A leadership "stake" is a strong, visceral way of being about an event, project, team, or activity.  It helps inform action.  It's different than a mission, stronger than an intention, and not as overarching as a purpose.  A stake is most often developed when an individual or group of individuals wants to keep themselves on course over a period of time.  

Some additional examples may be helpful here.

Recently, in light of the approaching leadership transition of the Corporate and Foundation Relations function at Princeton, the team designed a stake that goes like this: "Work together to boldly preserve the good, and co-create the future."

In another example, I recently co-led a conference call discussing a couple of chapters of the book, Positive Intelligence.  In that situation, since we were to reviewing ways in which we sabotage ourselves from time-to-time (especially by being overly judgmental), my co-leader and I developed a stake which we called, "compassion".  Compassion for self, compassion for others on the call, and compassion for any circumstances that arose during the book discussion.

Since we are on the eve of Christmas, I ask you to consider developing your own stake for the holidays.  And, if you are having trouble designing a stake around health and nutrition, you can always stay tethered to the four basic food groups.

Leading From "I Am"

"Be still and know that I am God"--Psalm 46:10.


In several recorded retreats, Eckhart Tolle explores the depth of this passage from the Old Testament.  He points out that each part of the phrase is a synonym for the other.  Be: Being.  Still: Stillness.  Know: Knowing.  I am: I am'ness.  God: The One/Source/Universe/Intelligence.

As a leader, knowing who you are and leading from that perspective can be very powerful.  The trick is to first become aware of your authentic self ("I Am") and understand your impact on others.  The next trick is to always remember to tap into this strength when leading.

On the awareness front there are several good instruments for gaining insight into behavior (Myers-Briggs) and motivation (Enneagram).  I (and many leaders I know) have done significant self exploration through these tools.  While helpful, these personality indicators may not go quite far enough.  Over the years, Henry Kimsey-House (co-founder of the Coaches Training Institute) refined an I Am typing system for leaders that he developed in his youth by working with actors.  These leadership styles are more fully explored by Henry in his book The Stake which I recommend without reservation.

Being aware of one's most authentic and compelling leadership style is a start.  Leading "on-type" is another matter.  Over the years we become conditioned to put on certain personas (or masks) in certain circumstances.  By doing so, our authenticity becomes diminished, and while we may be able to achieve certain nominal results in the short run, transformational results are rarely achieved in the long run.

So, how do we stay on-type? One way is to tap into our inner authority.  In the coaching context, we call this our "Captain", or inner leader who has access to unlimited wisdom, compassion, courage, clarity and certainty.  Our Captain can help us stay on-type, even when external circumstances or people attempt to steer us off course.  If you do not know who your Captain is, then I strongly suggest you work with a Co-Active coach to get acquainted with that side of yourself.  If you do know your Captain, then let (him, her, it) guide your leadership.

Good Vibrations

Over the past couple of weeks, I've been exploring the topic of urges (not the reproduction variety) with a small group of exceptional leaders.  During this time, I also immersed myself in an audio program entitled Trust Your Vibes by Sonia Choquette.  In the program, Sonia fully unpacks what she calls "six sensory living", or living life by trusting one's urges, vibes, or intuition.  While the program may be a bit "woo-woo" for many, it resonated with me (pun intended), especially in the leadership context.

Have you ever noticed great leaders who can make decisions with very little information?  They go on instinct, gut feeling, or a hunch.  That's six sensory leadership.  Of course, one needs to have a very quiet mind, be aware, and listen for the vibrations that inform good choices.  Also, one needs to be willing to ignore the rational/analytical mind which more often than not tends to countermand intuition.  Not easily accomplished when many of us have spent years strengthening the left brain, and allowing the right brain to atrophy.

Not to worry.  Like any body part that atrophies over time due to neglect or injury, we can recover use of a limb by going to the gym and exercising.  In the case of our creative/intuitive selves we can also strengthen our sixth sense through practice (and and a good 12-step recovery program).  Julia Cameron's Artist's Way is an excellent resource for such a recovery.

As I recover the the use of my own right brain, I am reminded of the 1966 single entitled Good Vibrations by the Beach Boys.  It's an anthem for six sensory living.  So go ahead, get quiet, listen to that small still voice inside you, and then take action from there.  I expect you'll be amazed at the results.  And always remember to "keep those lovin' good vibrations a happenin'.

Peace is Wonderful

When I was a boy, my maternal grandfather frequently uttered the phrase: "peace is wonderful", as chaos reigned around him.  In my own family, we use the saying to this day.  It is only now as my years advance toward the age of my grandfather when I first remember him, that the wisdom of his idiom becomes more apparent.

Peace is full of wonder.  Peace is full of delight and pleasure.  Peace is full of marvel and mystery.  From the Biblical tradition (Old Testament and New), we know that the phrase, "peace be with you" was commonly used as a greeting or blessing upon entering a home.  And, in Paul's letter to the Philippians, he asserts that: "the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds".  

Light-bulb!  Now, I get what my grandfather was saying.  Peace, which is beyond comprehension (or, full of wonder) shall guard us--if only we would allow it.  Imagine what would be possible if we lived each and every moment of our lives in that state of consciousness.

Peace.