Stake for the Holidays

Last night, my wife, children, and I cooked up the following leadership stake (not steak) for the holidays: "Celebrating with peace, happiness, joy, and gratitude."  We intend to spend Christmas and New Years with friends and family tethered to that stake.

You may ask: "what in tarnation is he talking about?"  Good question.

A leadership "stake" is a strong, visceral way of being about an event, project, team, or activity.  It helps inform action.  It's different than a mission, stronger than an intention, and not as overarching as a purpose.  A stake is most often developed when an individual or group of individuals wants to keep themselves on course over a period of time.  

Some additional examples may be helpful here.

Recently, in light of the approaching leadership transition of the Corporate and Foundation Relations function at Princeton, the team designed a stake that goes like this: "Work together to boldly preserve the good, and co-create the future."

In another example, I recently co-led a conference call discussing a couple of chapters of the book, Positive Intelligence.  In that situation, since we were to reviewing ways in which we sabotage ourselves from time-to-time (especially by being overly judgmental), my co-leader and I developed a stake which we called, "compassion".  Compassion for self, compassion for others on the call, and compassion for any circumstances that arose during the book discussion.

Since we are on the eve of Christmas, I ask you to consider developing your own stake for the holidays.  And, if you are having trouble designing a stake around health and nutrition, you can always stay tethered to the four basic food groups.

Leading From "I Am"

"Be still and know that I am God"--Psalm 46:10.


In several recorded retreats, Eckhart Tolle explores the depth of this passage from the Old Testament.  He points out that each part of the phrase is a synonym for the other.  Be: Being.  Still: Stillness.  Know: Knowing.  I am: I am'ness.  God: The One/Source/Universe/Intelligence.

As a leader, knowing who you are and leading from that perspective can be very powerful.  The trick is to first become aware of your authentic self ("I Am") and understand your impact on others.  The next trick is to always remember to tap into this strength when leading.

On the awareness front there are several good instruments for gaining insight into behavior (Myers-Briggs) and motivation (Enneagram).  I (and many leaders I know) have done significant self exploration through these tools.  While helpful, these personality indicators may not go quite far enough.  Over the years, Henry Kimsey-House (co-founder of the Coaches Training Institute) refined an I Am typing system for leaders that he developed in his youth by working with actors.  These leadership styles are more fully explored by Henry in his book The Stake which I recommend without reservation.

Being aware of one's most authentic and compelling leadership style is a start.  Leading "on-type" is another matter.  Over the years we become conditioned to put on certain personas (or masks) in certain circumstances.  By doing so, our authenticity becomes diminished, and while we may be able to achieve certain nominal results in the short run, transformational results are rarely achieved in the long run.

So, how do we stay on-type? One way is to tap into our inner authority.  In the coaching context, we call this our "Captain", or inner leader who has access to unlimited wisdom, compassion, courage, clarity and certainty.  Our Captain can help us stay on-type, even when external circumstances or people attempt to steer us off course.  If you do not know who your Captain is, then I strongly suggest you work with a Co-Active coach to get acquainted with that side of yourself.  If you do know your Captain, then let (him, her, it) guide your leadership.

Good Vibrations

Over the past couple of weeks, I've been exploring the topic of urges (not the reproduction variety) with a small group of exceptional leaders.  During this time, I also immersed myself in an audio program entitled Trust Your Vibes by Sonia Choquette.  In the program, Sonia fully unpacks what she calls "six sensory living", or living life by trusting one's urges, vibes, or intuition.  While the program may be a bit "woo-woo" for many, it resonated with me (pun intended), especially in the leadership context.

Have you ever noticed great leaders who can make decisions with very little information?  They go on instinct, gut feeling, or a hunch.  That's six sensory leadership.  Of course, one needs to have a very quiet mind, be aware, and listen for the vibrations that inform good choices.  Also, one needs to be willing to ignore the rational/analytical mind which more often than not tends to countermand intuition.  Not easily accomplished when many of us have spent years strengthening the left brain, and allowing the right brain to atrophy.

Not to worry.  Like any body part that atrophies over time due to neglect or injury, we can recover use of a limb by going to the gym and exercising.  In the case of our creative/intuitive selves we can also strengthen our sixth sense through practice (and and a good 12-step recovery program).  Julia Cameron's Artist's Way is an excellent resource for such a recovery.

As I recover the the use of my own right brain, I am reminded of the 1966 single entitled Good Vibrations by the Beach Boys.  It's an anthem for six sensory living.  So go ahead, get quiet, listen to that small still voice inside you, and then take action from there.  I expect you'll be amazed at the results.  And always remember to "keep those lovin' good vibrations a happenin'.

Peace is Wonderful

When I was a boy, my maternal grandfather frequently uttered the phrase: "peace is wonderful", as chaos reigned around him.  In my own family, we use the saying to this day.  It is only now as my years advance toward the age of my grandfather when I first remember him, that the wisdom of his idiom becomes more apparent.

Peace is full of wonder.  Peace is full of delight and pleasure.  Peace is full of marvel and mystery.  From the Biblical tradition (Old Testament and New), we know that the phrase, "peace be with you" was commonly used as a greeting or blessing upon entering a home.  And, in Paul's letter to the Philippians, he asserts that: "the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds".  

Light-bulb!  Now, I get what my grandfather was saying.  Peace, which is beyond comprehension (or, full of wonder) shall guard us--if only we would allow it.  Imagine what would be possible if we lived each and every moment of our lives in that state of consciousness.

Peace.

Whisper Words of Wisdom

 Let It Be.  In 1970, The Beatles released their final studio album, Let it be.  The title song which still resonates through the culture some 40+ years later is a pithy prescription for a propitious life. 


Sadly, as of late I've been a bit caught up in more of a Diggy-Wa-Do sort of existence.  Not good.  So easy to get drawn into the do-er trap.

As leaders it is important that we balance the "doings" of our lives with the "being".  More often than not, the latter informs the former.

Eight years after the Beatles broke up, another English rock band, The Who, released their eighth studio album, Who Are You? just prior to the death of the band's drummer, Keith Moon (go to the videotape for some memorable footage of Keith).  The title song asks the essential existential question.

So, go ahead and ask yourself: Who Are You?  Then, Let It Be.

Turning Up The Temperature

Recently, my teenage daughter suggested that the water in shower was not hot enough for her. Recognizing that our household domestic hot water could use a boost, I turned up the temperature settings on the coils in the hot water heater. Problem solved--happy teenager.

As with water temperature, sometimes we want to boost our personal and professional lives. Or, as Emeril Lagasse is fond of saying: "kick it up a notch".

In the case of my teenage daughter she asked me for help in dialing up the water temperature. In our own lives, we can ask for help from our professional coach to challenge us more. If you do not work with a coach, it can be helpful to connect with a colleague in your network or an independent adviser/consultant/counselor to explore ways to turn up the the heat in your life. If you prefer to do this yourself, then go ahead and set a BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal) for inspiration and motivation.

Whether you choose to ask for help, or summon the inner fortitude to dial up your own temperature, adding a little heat every now and then can be satisfying. 

BAM!

Live Every Day as if It Were Your Last

Over the past few years I’ve become fond of saying: “I’m on the return journey”.  This expression of my own mortality often takes people off guard (especially the 50 and over crowd).  Sorry.  It’s true.  From the moment we arrive, it’s a return journey.  We just choose to forget that inconvenient little fact.

Why is it important for us to frequently remember that our existence in this body on this earth is limited?  I believe it is so that we can get busy living on purpose.  We might even call this being conscious of our destiny.  For me, I recently did some very deep work on gaining clarity around my own purpose and destiny.  It’s something that I’ve been aware of for some time, although it got lost in the hustle-bustle of everyday life.  

In its simplest form, I know that I am here on this earth at this time to live free and encourage others to live free.  The Founding Fathers of the United States of America had a similar awareness.  In their Declaration of Independence they asserted that “[men and women] are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”  From the date that their declaration was made, those men certainly lived every day as if it were their last.

In the madness that is modern society, it is so easy to get lost in the “thick of thin things” (Stephen Covey). And, since our death is certain (only the time of our death is uncertain), I offer Psalms 23:4 for encouragement: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.”

The Maple Leaf in the River

Recently, I sat beside a river in the Blue Ridge Mountains contemplating a time many autumns ago when the first people inhabited that fair land.  As I sat, visions of a few Braves moving through the country came to me.  One stopped to drink from a calm eddy by the bank across the river at the bottom of the steep slope studded with trees falling into color.

As the Brave slipped back into the underbrush, an urge welled up inside me to stand by the river for a few moments and observe.  I noticed several colorful leaves making their way downstream in the clear, clean water flowing past.  One leaf, a large maple, tumbled slowly in the swift current.  It was as if the leaf was cartwheeling across the river bottom.

It has since occurred to me:  what would it be like if we gracefully cartwheeled in the swift current of our lives?

The Monkey and The Organ Grinder

In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, a certain class of beggars known as "organ grinders" would walk the streets of large cities in America and Europe, plying crowds for small donations in exchange for entertaining them in public.  These street performers would carry large music boxes (organs) that were operated by turning a crank.  The grinder would often be accompanied by a monkey who would dance to the music, do tricks to entertain the audience, and then collect donations.

I was reminded last week of the Organ Grinder metaphor, as I danced to the music of several other maestros.  While putting a monkey on a leash and asking it to do tricks for money is now outlawed, the activity appears to be alive and well in the course of human events.

In a free society, it is still possible to dance to one's own music (should one choose to do so).  And, as Henry David Thoreau put it: "...step to the music which [you] hear, however measured or far away."  

Sadly, I lost sight of this sage advice last week as I was grinding it out.  Not Anymore!  As I begin anew, I am reminded to follow my own music, and I am prompted to ask:  

Whose Music Are You Dancing To?

Three Steps Forward...

...Two Steps Backward.  This was the mantra as I attempted the nearly 18,000ft summit of Popocatepetl in the early 1990's before the volcano reactivated and became off-limits to climbing. 

After flying in from sea level to Mexico City (where we had a tense encounter with the corrupt "Policia" just as we departed the airport), we were on the great black ash heap that is the lower part of the climb within 24hours of arrival on our way to a small hut located at about 15,000ft. 

"Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back, Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back", "Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back" was the drumbeat pounding in my head until we arrived at the hut just before sundown.  After a sleepless, fitful night filled with headache and nausea, we decided to descend at sunrise.  "Scree-skiing" down the ash heap was a much more enjoyable experience.

And so it is with our professional, personal, and spiritual lives.  There are metaphorical mountains to climb, and along the way it feels like we take three steps forward only to slide back two steps.  Furthermore, despite our best intentions, desires, and efforts to achieve a particular summit or goal, we frequently fail.  The most important question to ask at these times is: "what did I learn?"
   
In the case of my unsuccessful attempt on Popocatepetl, even though I had achieved the highest elevation in my early climbing days, my body was not ready to go farther.  I learned that prior to proceeding to altitudes over 12,000ft my body needs more time to acclimate.  Then, as now, I am reminded of the Dirty Harry (Clint Eastwood) quote from the 1973 film Magnum Force: "A man's got to know his limitations."  

Thankfully, after spending more time in and around the volcanoes near Mexico City, we achieved the summit of Pico De Orizaba (approximately 18,500ft) a few days later in a memorable ascent with a few good friends. 

So, I ask: what are you learning about your own limitations?