The Chuck Chronicles Episode II--Perspective

Chuck, a fictional successful businessman in his late 50's, approaches David in a coaching session with the following situation:

“As we previously discussed, my mother will soon be stepping down as head of the family business. It seems pretty urgent for me now — I need to make some choices, and I'm feeling a bit stuck. I have spent most of my adult life preparing to succeed her; however, I am now wondering if it might be better to retire early and allow my son to take the reins instead of me. I really need to make sure I am doing what is right for me as well as for my family and the business.”

A following fictional dialogue ensues between the coach (David) and the client (Chuck).

Chuck: Well, as we discussed in our last session, mom is stepping down from running the family business, and I’m wrestling with the decision to step aside and let Charlie take the reins.

David: Yeah. I was going to check in with you on that. I was expecting an email from you last Friday with the itinerary for your month-long trip to Hawaii. [David does a little accountability at the beginning of the session].

Chuck: [with a heavy sigh] I know. I just couldn’t pull the trigger. I’m feeling stuck.

David: Ok. So the topic continues to be your decision to retire early and let Charlie take the reins of the family business from mom. Is that right?

Chuck: Bingo!

David: And the way you’re seeing it is that you’re stuck?

Chuck: Exactly.

David: Chuck, would you like to develop some different perspectives around that?

Chuck: Sure, David. I’m game.

David: Ok. What do you want to call this stuck/can’t decide perspective?

Chuck: It feels like quick sand. Can’t go forward, can’t go back, and the more I wrestle with the decision, the deeper I sink into uncertainty.

David: Great metaphor, Chuck Can we call this the “quick sand” perspective?

Chuck:  Yes. That nails it.

David: How else could you view this, Chuck?

Chuck: What do you mean?

David: What’s another way of looking at this decision?

Chuck: Well, I certainly would feel relieved if I could just get clear on what the right thing to do here is.

David: Yeah. It would be like taking an antacid to relieve all that indigestion caused by the stress of deciding. Remember the old ad, “Rolaids spells relief”?

Chuck: [laughing] Sure do.

David: Can we call this the Rolaids perspective?

Chuck: Absolutely.

David: What’s possible about making this decision from the Rolaids perspective, Chuck?

Chuck: [releasing an audible ahhhhhhh] Well, it would be a heavy burden lifted off my shoulders. Not only would I be relieved, but mom, Charlie, and Kathy would be as well. My delay is causing everyone a lot of indigestion, and the sooner I decide the faster the Rolaids will begin to work.

David: Perfect. Let’s do a little geography, Chuck. Where are you now? Still up on the Cape?

Chuck: Yes. In the study, sitting in my reading chair.

David: Go with me on this, Chuck. Stand up. 

Chuck: Ok.

David: Go out the front door onto your deck.

Chuck. Give me a minute. Ok. I’m there.

David: What do you see?

Chuck: Well, there’s a lounger on the deck.

David: Go lie down on the lounger.

Chuck: This is getting a little weird, David.

David: You know me, Chuck. I am a little weird. You’ll have to trust me on this one.

Chuck: Ok, David. I’m lying down on the lounger [Chuck lets out a loud, mmmmmmm. David senses the level 3. Something has shifted]

David: Now, Chuck. What’s possible around this decision from the “Lounger” perspective?

Chuck: It feels easy, comfortable. I also feel supported.

David: Yes, you do. You are supported. Do you have the feeling  of what it is to make this decision when it’s easy, comfortable and supported?

Chuck: Got it.

David: Want to go for one more perspective, Chuck.

Chuck: Sure, why not.

David: OK. Let’s get up off the lounger.

Chuck: Ok. I’m mobile.

David: Where are you going?

Chuck: Over to the barn.

David: What’s there?

Chuck: The ’67 Chevy Impala that I’ve been restoring.

David: What comes up as you look at the Impala?

Chuck: This project’s been a pain in my ass.

David: Ouch! Ok. So what’s possible from the “pain in my ass” perspective around this decision?

Chuck: Nothing but delay, frustration, and misery. I want to finish this project so that I can enjoy the ride.

David: Ok, Chuck. Have we developed enough perspectives around this decision for you?

Chuck: Yes. I’m good.

David: Ok. Let’s review. We started in “Quick Sand”. Remember that?

Chuck: Yes. I got it.

David: Then we moved onto “Rolaids Spells Relief”.  Do you recall what that was like?

Chuck: Yes. I’ve got indigestion, and so does everyone else. I need to decide soon so that everyone can be relieved.

David: Great. Then we walked out on the deck and you lay down on the lounger. Remember how that felt?

Chuck: Yep. Comfortable and supported.

David: Finally we went over the barn and you developed the “Pain in the Ass” perspective. [Giggling] What was that like, Chuck?

Chuck: Well, the Impala has been a labor of love, but I’ve been procrastinating on finishing it. I want to get out there and enjoy driving that baby.

David: So which one of these perspectives resonates most with you right now, Chuck?

[a long pause ensues. Chuck is a cerebral man, and David knows that he needs to give Chuck time to think this through]

Chuck: David, believe it or not, it’s the “Pain in the Ass” perspective?

David: How so?

Chuck: Well, I recognize that I’m in quick sand and I don’t want to stay there, or I’m going to suffocate. You would have thought that I would have gone for the “lounger”, but that is just TOO soft and comfortable. I’ll never make the decision sitting in the lounger. Rolaids providing relieve was intriguing, but it’s just popping another pill to mask the symptoms. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but that damn “pain in the ass” is what I need right now.

David: Awesome, Chuck. So, what are you going to say “No” to right now, and what are you going to say “yes” to. 

Chuck: Well, I’m going to say no to staying in my comfort zone about this decision. And I’m going to say no to just popping a pill to make it go away.

David: And, what you are you saying "yes" to here? 

Chuck: I’m saying yes to finishing this project and enjoying the ride.

David: Yes you are, Chuck. And what do you want to commit to?

Chuck: Having the conversations with Kathy, Mom, and Charlie we discussed in the last session.

David: And, how will I know.

Chuck: We’ll discuss the results in our next session.

David: Great, Chuck. Take care.