Chuck, a fictional successful businessman in his late
50's, approaches David in a coaching session with the following situation:Chuck: “David, as you know, my mother will soon be stepping down as head of the family business. I realize I now have some urgency around the choices I need to make about my own future. I have spent most of my adult life preparing to succeed her; however, I am now wondering if it might be better to retire early and allow my son to take the reins instead of me. I feel like I really need to make sure I am doing what is right for me as well as for the business.”
A following fictional dialogue ensues between the coach (David) and the client (Chuck).
David: So, Chuck. What do you really want here?
Chuck: Well, as much as I always anticipated taking the reins, it’s been a long time coming. I’m now financially secure, Kathy and I have been traveling more, spending time with the grandkids, and just enjoying extending the season at our summer home on the Cape.
David: Yeah, Chuck. I’ve got this image of you on the porch of your home on the Cape in your Bermuda shorts, straw hat on; looking over the water at the sunset with a mai-tai in hand. How beautiful!
Chuck: Bingo! Wait a minute. I need to walk inside and grab my mai-tai. Kathy just finished mixing them up. Ok. I’m back on the porch.
David: Nice! So, what’s right for YOU in this decision?
Chuck: Great question, David. I don’t know. It seems I’ve been waiting all my life to run the family business, and Mom might be disappointed if I don’t step in. [David notices the voice of the saboteur and blows right past it].
David: Chuck, what’s important for you around Mom in this decision?
Chuck: I want her to know that I love her, and that I am not abandoning her if I let Charlie take over.
David: What else?
Chuck: I want Charlie to know that I have complete confidence in him; and that I know he will do an outstanding job in taking the business to the next level.
David: And what about for you, Chuck? What’s important for you to know about YOU in this?
Chuck: I’m not sure. What do you mean?
David: What would your Captain (Odysseus) say to you about this?
Chuck: He would say: “Chuck, it’s ok. You’ve had the adventure of a lifetime. You’ve been successful in your own right, and now you’re entering a new stage of life. You’re there for your Mom, and it’s time for your son to shine”. That’s what he would say.
David: Wow!
Chuck: [with a slight crackle in his voice] Yeah. Wow!
[A long silent pause follows. Neither David nor Chuck says anything. David hears a slight sniffle on the other end, and the clink of ice cubes in the mai-tai]
David: What’s possible from here, Chuck?
Chuck: It’s possible to let mom step down, let Charlie step up, and let me step aside.
David: Yes, it is. And what are you going to do?
Chuck: First, I’m going to let Kathy know that I will not be taking the reins. She’ll be so delighted that I may not be able to contain her enthusiasm. Then, I’m going to have a talk with mom, although it won’t be easy. I’ll tell her I love and respect her. Let her know that Charlie has my full confidence and support to succeed her. And, let her know that the cabin next to the house on the cape is always there for her.
David: And what else?
Chuck: Then, I am going to talk with Charlie. He’s going to be a bit surprised (think pleasantly so). He needs to know that I’ve got his back.
David: And what will you do for yourself?
Chuck: I’m not sure there is anything else?
David: I’m curious if there is anything you want to do for you?
Chuck: Well, now that you mention it. I’ve been thinking about a month-long trip to Hawaii with Kathy, where they really make some good mai-tai’s, but the uncertainty around this decision has been holding me back.
David: I have a challenge for you Chuck.
Chuck: Uh, oh. What is it?
David: Will you book that ticket today?
Chuck: What? Today. At sunset with a mai-tai in hand, and dinner reservations at the Lobster House?
David: C’mon Chuck. You know the routine. Yes, no, or renegotiate.
Chuck: Here’s what I’ll do. I’ll book the ticket after I’ve had the conversations with Kathy, Mom, and Charlie.
David: OK, when will you have those conversations?
Chuck: Next week.
David: Great. So, you’ll have the conversations and book the tickets by next Friday?
Chuck: Yes.
David: And how will I know?
Chuck: I’ll send you the airline confirmation by email
David: Splendid. Thank you, Chuck. You’ve taken a big leap forward today. You are Odysseus!
Chuck: Thanks, David. Speak with you in 2 weeks.
David: Take care, Chuck.
Chuck: Well, as much as I always anticipated taking the reins, it’s been a long time coming. I’m now financially secure, Kathy and I have been traveling more, spending time with the grandkids, and just enjoying extending the season at our summer home on the Cape.
David: Yeah, Chuck. I’ve got this image of you on the porch of your home on the Cape in your Bermuda shorts, straw hat on; looking over the water at the sunset with a mai-tai in hand. How beautiful!
Chuck: Bingo! Wait a minute. I need to walk inside and grab my mai-tai. Kathy just finished mixing them up. Ok. I’m back on the porch.
David: Nice! So, what’s right for YOU in this decision?
Chuck: Great question, David. I don’t know. It seems I’ve been waiting all my life to run the family business, and Mom might be disappointed if I don’t step in. [David notices the voice of the saboteur and blows right past it].
David: Chuck, what’s important for you around Mom in this decision?
Chuck: I want her to know that I love her, and that I am not abandoning her if I let Charlie take over.
David: What else?
Chuck: I want Charlie to know that I have complete confidence in him; and that I know he will do an outstanding job in taking the business to the next level.
David: And what about for you, Chuck? What’s important for you to know about YOU in this?
Chuck: I’m not sure. What do you mean?
David: What would your Captain (Odysseus) say to you about this?
Chuck: He would say: “Chuck, it’s ok. You’ve had the adventure of a lifetime. You’ve been successful in your own right, and now you’re entering a new stage of life. You’re there for your Mom, and it’s time for your son to shine”. That’s what he would say.
David: Wow!
Chuck: [with a slight crackle in his voice] Yeah. Wow!
[A long silent pause follows. Neither David nor Chuck says anything. David hears a slight sniffle on the other end, and the clink of ice cubes in the mai-tai]
David: What’s possible from here, Chuck?
Chuck: It’s possible to let mom step down, let Charlie step up, and let me step aside.
David: Yes, it is. And what are you going to do?
Chuck: First, I’m going to let Kathy know that I will not be taking the reins. She’ll be so delighted that I may not be able to contain her enthusiasm. Then, I’m going to have a talk with mom, although it won’t be easy. I’ll tell her I love and respect her. Let her know that Charlie has my full confidence and support to succeed her. And, let her know that the cabin next to the house on the cape is always there for her.
David: And what else?
Chuck: Then, I am going to talk with Charlie. He’s going to be a bit surprised (think pleasantly so). He needs to know that I’ve got his back.
David: And what will you do for yourself?
Chuck: I’m not sure there is anything else?
David: I’m curious if there is anything you want to do for you?
Chuck: Well, now that you mention it. I’ve been thinking about a month-long trip to Hawaii with Kathy, where they really make some good mai-tai’s, but the uncertainty around this decision has been holding me back.
David: I have a challenge for you Chuck.
Chuck: Uh, oh. What is it?
David: Will you book that ticket today?
Chuck: What? Today. At sunset with a mai-tai in hand, and dinner reservations at the Lobster House?
David: C’mon Chuck. You know the routine. Yes, no, or renegotiate.
Chuck: Here’s what I’ll do. I’ll book the ticket after I’ve had the conversations with Kathy, Mom, and Charlie.
David: OK, when will you have those conversations?
Chuck: Next week.
David: Great. So, you’ll have the conversations and book the tickets by next Friday?
Chuck: Yes.
David: And how will I know?
Chuck: I’ll send you the airline confirmation by email
David: Splendid. Thank you, Chuck. You’ve taken a big leap forward today. You are Odysseus!
Chuck: Thanks, David. Speak with you in 2 weeks.
David: Take care, Chuck.
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