The Power of Forgiveness

Some time ago I was on the receiving end of a small dose of unwarranted sharp criticism from a leader whom I respect.  This criticism was coupled with a semi-public humiliation, and then a private verbal beating behind the wood shed.

I harbored deep hurt and resentment over this incident for many months, even though I knew I had done nothing to warrant such behavior.  To me, it felt like a painful, open wound that would not heal.  Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night having experienced a disturbing dream, reliving the experience in a variety of distorted, macabre ways, as only dreams can produce.  This went on for longer than I would like to admit. 

Then one day, I was in another meeting with this individual.  He was under the weather and not feeling well.  In that moment, I was able to see his humanity, as I had not been able to before.  Also, in that moment I forgave him--completely, and on the spot.  Not just for the prior injustice, but also for the mess that is the inherited birthright of us all called--humanity.  From that point forward, I have held this person in the cradle of loving kindness. And, guess what?  No more nightmares.  Voila!

In the book, Anatomy of Peace, the authors make a distinction between having a "heart at peace" vs. a "heart at war".  While I read the book after the incident that I describe here, I notice upon reflection that my heart was at war with this person, and because of that stance the wound would not heal.  By forgiving him, my heart is now at peace.

So, I ask: with whom are you at war in your heart? And, how long will you let that wound fester until you forgive and heal?