Allowing

Kids fighting?  Just let them be.  Better yet, nap your way through it. 

 

My school mate, Chris Saxman, recently shared in a humorous blogpost on the subject of allowing: "I just have to let 'em fight...Yup.   

Allowing is the process by which we let things (or people) be. 

 Similar to Chris, I have a story about allowing that concerns one of my children.  A few years back, our family was vacationing in Florida.  One morning, our two daughters were swimming in the pool, while we visited with my wife’s sister (Nancy) seated in chairs poolside.  At some point, our younger daughter (who was just learning to swim) decided to jettison her life jacket and play on the steps in the shallow end near us.  All well and good.   Even though she was just learning to swim, Claudia was still under our watchful eye.   As parents, Lillian and I are inclined to give our children some leeway.

Now, Claudia is quite an adventurous little imp, and she is often willing to try stuff, which is a credit to her Montessori pre-schooling.  During the vacation, she had been observing several of the other children jumping off the edge of the pool into about three/four feet of water, scrambling up, and doing it again.  So, she decided to try it herself—without her life jacket!  Thankfully, I was observing the whole plot unfold as my wife and sister-in-law chatted away. 

Dunk one, dunk two, dunk three.  Third time under Papa reached over the edge and pulled her up by her armpit.  Claudia was gasping for air and a bit disoriented.  Lillian and Nancy’s dialogue was nervously interrupted by my swift action.   

Some may say: “How could you?  Your daughter could have drowned”.  Not.  In fact, she learned a valuable lesson.  That is, when jumping off into the deep end, wear your life jacket!  She never made that mistake again.  Several years later, Claudia is a strong swimmer, happily jumping into pools (without a life jacket) as often as the opportunity presents itself.

And so it is with management and leadership.  Allow those in your charge to try things, experiment, and  fail.  It’s one of the best ways for them to learn—if not the best way.  Just so long as you maintain a watchful eye, and you’re there for them when they go under for the third time.